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Most of us have the experience of feeling very angry at our kids at least occasionally. And, more than any other feeling we experience—in parenting or in other aspects of our lives—anger seems to evoke the most shame in us.
Here are a few thoughts about this particularly intense feeling, and how you might begin (or continue) to work with it, especially now.
Read moreEvery family has its own heartbreaks, sooner or later.
But how to meet and manage the pain and sadness of these times without shutting down is a whole other story. And having kids complicates how (or if) we are able to work with it. It also raises questions about how much (or whether) to share it with our children.
Read moreOne of the biggest challenges we face as parents is knowing how to respond when our children have a big feeling—when they get angry, very sad, frustrated, or even super excited.
This work begins for us when our babies are tiny, when they sometimes cry for prolonged periods for seemingly no reason.
And it continues as our children grow into older babies, toddlers, and beyond.
How we meet our child’s big feelings will teach them how to meet their own feelings, and, I’d argue, how to understand themselves as they grow.
Read moreThere are so many opinions out there about what you need to do to get ready for your new baby. As useful as these tips can be, they overshadow some of the most important kinds of preparation. We need to be prepared for how to be with our babies, not just for what we’ll swaddle or stroll them in.
Luckily, the Educaring Approach® (commonly known as RIE® parenting or respectful parenting) is the perfect support system for the intense early days of parenting. Here’s how you can practice some of the Approach’s most effective—yet quite simple—tools before your baby even arrives.
Read moreIt’s upon us: the holiday season! Thanksgiving is around the corner for those of us in the U.S., followed by the winter holidays, which usually means one thing for many of us: time with family.
Before we have kids, this time of year can feel like a lot, even if we have healthy and uncomplicated relationships with our family (ha!).
But when we add kids to the mix, the things we weather during this time of year—travel, delays, long meals, family dynamics, big feelings of all kinds, and increased stress due to all of this—can make us want to put a pillow over our heads until January 2nd.
While we can’t necessarily change our complicated family dynamics or remove all the stress from the holidays, there are a few things we can do as parents to make this time of year easier on all of us, especially our littlest members.
Read moreI happen to know that my child is not the only one who resists the normal, everyday aspects of his existence with a kind of endurance that would be admirable were it not so darn aggravating.
Here are a few tips for managing your child’s resistance respectfully, and with an eye toward deepening her sense of connection (which—you guessed it—also can help lessen the resistance). All of these tools work well with babies, toddlers, and older children as well.
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Fog in the Grand Canyon
I recently got a question from a young couple about to embark on their marriage and parenting journey. The question was about setting limits for children, and whether and how to do it. One of them grew up with many firm limits, while the other was raised to find his own way and make his own choices for the most part. Both felt very strongly that the way they were raised was the best way.
Which one of them was right? they asked.
Read moreYou may have heard about the Educaring® Approach, or RIE®—sometimes called “respectful parenting”—on the playground or from a friend who is a parent. But what is RIE® really all about? Is it right for your family?
Magda Gerber, who founded RIE®—which stands for Resources for Infant Educarers—believed that babies are whole, capable people deserving of our respect from the moment they are born.
Read moreLearning a little bit more about why tantrums happen, as well as what we can do to weather them in a way that supports both our child and our own needs, can help us get through these long moments with more of our sanity intact.
Read moreFertile Ground Parenting
Caroline Griswold
415.484.8889
caroline@fertilegroundparenting.com
