Thoughts on a Decade of Parenting

January 30, 2024 Caroline Griswold

My sweet, physical, fierce, tender kid turned 10 two weeks ago.

One decade of him.

Ten years of:

Late nights—oh no, he’s up too late; why won’t he sleep?; reading books x 1 zillion; “come on kid, let’s get those teeth brushed!”

Middle-of-the-nights—feedings; diaper changes; bad dreams; rocking rocking rocking; “I don’t know why I’m awake mama I just am;” phone scrolling; wondering if we’re doing it right/doing enough

Early mornings—sweet baby smell; bright eyes; new words that weren’t there the night before; quiet playtime; exhaustion; Special Time x 1 zillion; rushing rushing rushing to daycare/preschool/school/bus

… and so much time in between full of H, the way he is, the way he has always been.

5 Tips for Raising a Healthy Eater

July 8, 2020 Caroline Griswold

Eating—and what, how, and when our kids do (or don’t do) it—is one of the things that many of the parents I support also spend considerable time observing and thinking about.

Let's Talk About Parenting, Not (Just) the Pandemic

March 18, 2020 Caroline Griswold

There’s nothing like a pandemic and a complete shutdown of life as we know it to test our mettle as people and as parents. This may be the truest, most direct experience of “parenting as path” that we will ever encounter.

Is it possible to continue to be the parents we want to be right now? Ask me again in a few months, but right now, I feel that it is.

Here’s what I’m practicing and finding useful right now when it comes to my parenting.

When Old Hurts Get in the Way of Our Parenting

January 28, 2020 Caroline Griswold

I often think about something a very thoughtful dad of two said to me during a coaching session last year. We were talking about his transition home after long days at work, and how hard he tried to come into the house with an open heart and mind.

Things had been very challenging with his 5-year-old son, and he worried about what he might encounter when he opened the door. He worried too about how triggering his son’s behavior often felt.

He tried to shed his day on the commute home, and plug back into family life with energy. But, he said, as soon as he stepped through the door, he felt as if he were “back in the lion’s den again, ready for war.”

The Surprising Benefits of Doing Less as a Parent

September 24, 2019 Caroline Griswold

How would it feel to do a little less in your parenting today?

I’m asking myself this question a lot lately, because I find I’ve gotten wrapped up in old patterns of doing MORE these last few weeks, and it doesn’t feel great.

I mean a specific kind of “doing more” here, one that looks like:

Picking out my son’s clothes and putting them on him, piece by piece
Reminding him to take his plate over to the sink when he’s done eating
Talking over him in the middle of a big feeling.

I know why I’m doing all of this, despite my belief (and tangible evidence) that most of it isn’t helpful.

Parenting When You're in Pain

September 10, 2019 Caroline Griswold

Every family has its own heartbreaks, sooner or later.

But how to meet and manage the pain and sadness of these times without shutting down is a whole other story. And having kids complicates how (or if) we are able to work with it. It also raises questions about how much (or whether) to share it with our children.

Why it Matters How We Respond to Our Child's Feelings

July 30, 2019 Caroline Griswold

One of the biggest challenges we face as parents is knowing how to respond when our children have a big feeling—when they get angry, very sad, frustrated, or even super excited.

This work begins for us when our babies are tiny, when they sometimes cry for prolonged periods for seemingly no reason.

And it continues as our children grow into older babies, toddlers, and beyond.

How we meet our child’s big feelings will teach them how to meet their own feelings, and, I’d argue, how to understand themselves as they grow.

How to Get Your Kid to Play Without You (and Why You Should)

June 3, 2019 Caroline Griswold

I often say to parents that play is like the blood that runs through your child’s veins. He absolutely thrives on it—in fact he needs it to grow, develop, understand the world, and process his experiences.

Play helps your child discover what he can do, as well as what he can’t (yet) do. It gives him a chance to experiment (will this ball fit into this container? How about this one?), to practice building his skills (if I jump off this sidewalk 100 more times, I will do it without stumbling!), and through this process of discovery, experimentation, and practice, develop his self-confidence.

From Play Yards to Yes Spaces: Creating a Safe Play Space for Your Child

May 20, 2019 Caroline Griswold

New parents often tell me that they struggle to get any kind of self-care once their baby arrives. I can relate—after my son was born I felt totally disconnected from the habits that had nurtured me before his arrival.

Here’s a little secret. One of the best things you can do for your young baby also comes with a bonus: it’s self-care for you, too.

That thing that is so good for both of you is simple (and yes, hard too): put your baby down.

Get Ready for Your Baby the Respectful Parenting Way

April 15, 2019 Caroline Griswold

There are so many opinions out there about what you need to do to get ready for your new baby. As useful as these tips can be, they overshadow some of the most important kinds of preparation. We need to be prepared for how to be with our babies, not just for what we’ll swaddle or stroll them in.

Luckily, the Educaring Approach® (commonly known as RIE® parenting or respectful parenting) is the perfect support system for the intense early days of parenting. Here’s how you can practice some of the Approach’s most effective—yet quite simple—tools before your baby even arrives.

What to Do With a Baby

September 26, 2018 Caroline Griswold

“What do I. . . DO with her all day?”

A slightly baffled mom asked this question about her newborn baby in a RIE® parent-infant class. We all laughed—including her—but I also knew part of her was very serious.

No parenting class had prepared her for this part of being a mom. After the diapers, feeding, bathing, dressing… what was she supposed to do with the kid?

If you’ve ever wondered this about your baby, you’re not alone.

The Most Important Repairs

September 26, 2017 Caroline Griswold

Her are some simple, respectful parenting tools that I recommend when you find yourself behaving like the parent you don’t want to be—either by accident or because you can’t seem to stop yourself.