Last summer, I completed a yearlong instructor certification program with Hand in Hand Parenting. I spent the second half of the year letting all of the echoes and reverberations of the year bounce around inside of me—and inside of my family and my coaching.
Read moreHow Laughter Might Be the Thing That Gets Us Through This
We can find joy again in a thing that has felt so much like a “have-to” this year, especially in recent months.
So, here’s my suggestion. Let’s find a way to play in our parenting again, and see if we can do more than just “make it through” the holidays and the end of this very strange, very trying year.
Read moreWhy Kids Stop Listening and What You Can Do About it
To be listened to makes us feel seen, understood, and valued.
To be ignored or have our listening go unanswered makes us feel hurt, afraid, and sometimes enraged.
And, when our kids don’t listen to us, it can trigger a cascade of feelings and worries that reach both backward into the past and forward toward the future.
Let’s take a closer look at listening, and at what happens to us and to our kids when listening falls apart.
Read moreLet's Talk About Parenting, Not (Just) the Pandemic
There’s nothing like a pandemic and a complete shutdown of life as we know it to test our mettle as people and as parents. This may be the truest, most direct experience of “parenting as path” that we will ever encounter.
Is it possible to continue to be the parents we want to be right now? Ask me again in a few months, but right now, I feel that it is.
Here’s what I’m practicing and finding useful right now when it comes to my parenting.
Read moreThe Surprising Benefits of Doing Less as a Parent
How would it feel to do a little less in your parenting today?
I’m asking myself this question a lot lately, because I find I’ve gotten wrapped up in old patterns of doing MORE these last few weeks, and it doesn’t feel great.
I mean a specific kind of “doing more” here, one that looks like:
Picking out my son’s clothes and putting them on him, piece by piece
Reminding him to take his plate over to the sink when he’s done eating
Talking over him in the middle of a big feeling.
I know why I’m doing all of this, despite my belief (and tangible evidence) that most of it isn’t helpful.
Read moreHow Play Helps Children Cooperate
As I’ve written about before, play is so much more than meaningless fun for kids.
Just as independent play is an important part of your child’s development, play with you facilitates a greater bond between you and your child, and deepens his trust in you.
Play is one of the main ways our kids connect with us—their most important grownups. It offers your child some of the warmth and closeness he needs a good healthy dose of daily.
In addition to all of these benefits, play is also an amazing tool to help increase our kids’ cooperation, improve their behavior, and decrease the struggle that we often face with everyday tasks.
Read moreWhat True Quality Time With Your Child Feels Like
Recent studies have shown that parents are spending more time with their kids now than they did half a century ago—a lot more.
This is cause for celebration in my book, but I must admit that it leaves me with a bit of a nagging question.
What is that time really like?
Read moreHelp Your Child Sleep Better With Bedtime Rituals
Ahhhhh, sleep.
It’s one of the first things people ask new parents about, and the focus and source of a lot of our time, energy, and stress during the first years of our kids’ lives.
I recently visited with close friends and their week-old baby. One of the first things Dad said to me was, “wow, the sleep deprivation finally caught up with us. We were fine for a few days and then…” he trailed off. Then: “This is hard.”
Read more4 Ways to Meet Your Child's Resistance
I happen to know that my child is not the only one who resists the normal, everyday aspects of his existence with a kind of endurance that would be admirable were it not so darn aggravating.
Here are a few tips for managing your child’s resistance respectfully, and with an eye toward deepening her sense of connection (which—you guessed it—also can help lessen the resistance). All of these tools work well with babies, toddlers, and older children as well.
Read moreThe Whys and Hows of Limit Setting (Or, What Kid-Life and Dance Parties Have in Common)
Fog in the Grand Canyon
I recently got a question from a young couple about to embark on their marriage and parenting journey. The question was about setting limits for children, and whether and how to do it. One of them grew up with many firm limits, while the other was raised to find his own way and make his own choices for the most part. Both felt very strongly that the way they were raised was the best way.
Which one of them was right? they asked.
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